much more to say, foolish to try

It’s almost my birthday. I’ll be twenty-three in less than twenty-four hours. It’s been a long year. I thought things were going to be better by this date, but after the past couple days, I’m not so sure about that. Gotta love those giant steps backwards right before deadlines. Definitely makes it harder to feel good about the things you have managed to accomplish.

I’ve lost a lot of friends this year. I’m trying to remind myself of all the ones I’ve made, too. It’s going to be okay. It’s always going to be okay. You’ve just got to get past the not-okay so you can get there. It’s just that that would be a lot easier to do if she would let me alone and stop trying to make this worse than it already is.

What’s done is done. Hate me if you want to, but go do it over there and leave me alone. I won’t let you bring me down: I’m good enough at that on my own.

I wish you were better.

i’ll sing statistics and hide the truth/i’ll tell your dad anything you want me to/i’ll hide your locket under the dirt/i’ll be your bird

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Tim O.
    Aug 04, 2011 @ 19:46:21

    Well, August is always hot and somewhat depressing. We just got back from the fam reunion in New Hampshire. Got to spend some time with Paige who is always so beautiful and smart. The thing about your twenties is that they are bound to be full of those giant steps forward and backward, yet some day you’ll see that it was all part of a freaky modern dance. And that it has some purpose that your inside self is dragging you through. I spent so much of my twenties driven by art, in love with several different people (and mostly at the same time), it was both elating and depressing and I was such an emo kind of guy. Luckily I had creature comforts to divert me, sex drugs rock and roll and most importantly, FOOD! So, stick to food and sleep and remember what Woody Allen told us: Life is terrible and awful and depressing, and its over way too soon.

    Reply

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