it’s a hot southern california day

I love that state of mind where you’re so eager to find something different to do with your life that you are willing to consider even the craziest of options.  It’s kind of a fun place to be.  I find myself justifying every hare-brained scheme with the logic that a.) I’m young, 2.) I’m not tied down by husband/kids/obligations, and/or III.) it’ll look really great in my memoirs.  This is probably not a terribly responsible justification for anything, but I’m totally hanging onto it until I find myself in a state not allowing for two or more of these three prospects.

That being said, here are some possible plans for the future:

  1. Live in a trailer in Carbohnduhlay with good Carbohnduhlite friend Amy.
  2. Move to Chicago to work with some theatre company (probably the children’s theatre company I’ve been courting) and most likely starve.
  3. Apply for and take a job teaching English as a second language in South Korea.  Just because I can.

I’m making a valiant attempt to avoid clinging to crutches that will keep me from doing these things.  Yes, I know, life in Chicago is expensive and it’s a long way from Carbohnduhlay, but it’s somewhere I’ve always wanted to go and something I’ve always wanted to do and isn’t that what you’re saving money for?  Carbohnduhlay is a safe place for me and the Gentleman Caller will be down there and that would be wonderful.  Plus, it gets me out of the house.  I know it’ll be a long way from the Gentleman Caller during summer months (as my mother has been ALL TOO eager to point out to me), but we seem to be doing okay with the whole summer thing right now and I’m really not super-concerned about that.  And Korea…well, it’s about as far away from anything I know as I can get.  It would make for a very lonesome year, I expect.  But at the same time, the programme pays like crazy and it’s something rewarding and life-changing and, well, incredible.  I could go for something incredible right now.

I just saw my best friend graduate college last weekend.  In a weird way, it reminded me that, however much time I have left on this planet, it’s not going to last forever.  There’s no practise round in life, or whatever the old adage is.  This summer is a transitional period, but it’s starting to feel like my whole life is nothing but a series of transitional periods.  I’m tired of that.  I know it’s natural in a sense, but I’m sick of it feeling that way all the time.  So I’m going to go have mine.  And if I don’t know what mine is, I’m going to find it.

A life, Jimmy. You know what that is? It’s the shit that happens while you’re waiting for moments that never come.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Tim O.
    Jun 21, 2010 @ 20:33:02

    Well, mainly you got to find some income at first. Then you usually do that until it drives you a little crazy and you try something else. Meanwhile, in the rest of your life you are spending time with friends and people you meet and sometimes that turns into the gateway to the next part. A lot of life is kismet. Overplanning can get your farther along, particularly in the financial aspects, but it is good to remember that luck plays a role and that not all luck is bad luck. Things will happen. You will meet people. The world will change. And maybe it will change radically. There’s nothing you can do about nuclear war, so don’t plan for it.

    As for where to live: I say try a lot of places and see what feels good. Big cities are more fun at your age than at mine. But I have a really good friend who lived in springfield for like 20 some years, raising her kids, and she and her husband moved to Rogers Park this year and she is loving it, big time. So Chicago can be a friendly neighborhoods town. It’s close to parents, but not too close. So, however, is Carbondale. I have known people who lived in Cdale for years and years. They all eventually moved somewhere else. Mostly to the left coast.

    Finally: Korea. The big adventure. Yes, you’ll be lonely, but think how much you’ll learn. Besides, with the internets you’ll have enormously more contact with your faraway friends than I had in the 1960s/70s with mine, and I still have many of them as friends. On my email blog at least three of the people I send to I have known since 1972, and one of them I knew in 1969. So, keeping up is a matter of taking your own time to stay in touch. So easy with Facebook and email. And there’s skype too. Talkiing with Paige when she was in Ireland was just so very awesome. I vote Korea, I mean, if I had a vote. Which I don’t. It Is Kiri’s Life!!! Ride that wave all the way to the ocean. Have fun. Don’t obsess too much. Don’t ignore the details. Have as much fun as you can without harming yourself.

    Reply

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