all the space i’m taking up

True story: today is the twenty-first anniversary of my baptism.  I realised that last night and I’ve been thinking about it a lot.  My parents never lit the baptismal candle to celebrate the anniversary, but I’ve always known when it was.  I don’t know.  It’s weird to think about.

New news (in brief):

Life has been pretty wacky recently, not that that’s really anything new.  I’m finally down to one show a semester and could not be more relieved.  Sadly, that show is cursed.  We’ve lost a bunch of cast members to busy schedules, disinterest, and religious requirements, and some of our remaining cast members have been super sick recently.  We’ve got one and maybe two down with Swine Flu (which I call the Dreaded Walking Pig Death) and have had to cancel rehearsals because of it.  Not fun.  Makes for a great story, but not fun right now.  No no no.

I’m currently on a campaign to get my life together.  I’m trying to find a job for next semester and save up what little money I can for the Big Move in May.  It’s exciting and terrifying.  Mostly terrifying.  I really hope that I still have those government bonds my grandpa got me a while ago.  Those would be nice to invest with.  Yay!  Savings!

For anyone who didn’t know, I’ve been in therapy for about a month now.  I really like my therapist and things are going pretty well.  We’re getting into some scary stuff.  I was on antidepressants for a little while, but they were doing jack squat.  Well, actually, they were doing quite a lot: giving my headaches, making my nauseous, knocking me out, and causing suicidal thoughts.  But none of those things were really what I was going for, so I stopped taking them.  Good choice on my part.  Since I’m off of the pills, we’re trying some more homeopathic remedies.  My shrink gave me a big pack of information to look at (it reads king of like a self-help manual so far) and my mum’s trying to get me into needless acupuncture and reiki (yet again).  I feel so very zen.  In addition to that, I’ve been trying to change my diet to something a little healthier: a lot more vegetables, no more fast food (which is super difficult considering my amount of time and resources), tons and tons of water.  I don’t know if any of that’s working yet, but it’s something to try, right?

This whole ‘me work’ thing is hard.

Other than that, I’m applying to a bunch of different summer and fall work locations this week.  I’m hoping to start looking for apartments soon, but I’m not sure who I’m living with yet.  I’m also trying to spend more time outside or doing something quiet.  After this, I’m hitting up Stephen King and going to a dinner function at my mentor’s house.  Just keeping on keeping on.

All of this is convincing me that the trick to living a long and healthy-ish life is to just keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Surround yourself with people who make you happy and fuck the rest.  There’s nothing wrong with telling someone you don’t want to be around them, especially if they make you feel negatively about yourself and your life.  I’m working a lot on the last bit; it’s hard to tell someone to go away.  But I’ve been trying to instill these ideas in my mind.  I need to remember that I’m an okay kid in the long run.  I forget that sometimes.

I don’t know.  I’m too tired to try and make this make sense.  How are you guys?


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. erik
    Nov 10, 2009 @ 01:44:12

    i’ll never go away. you’re stuck with me. condolences.


  2. erik
    Nov 10, 2009 @ 01:44:42

    i’ll never go away. you’re stuck with me. condolences.
    ❤ ❤


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