so high you can’t see over

Yesterday I moved back down to Carbohnduhlay for the next six weeks.  My back and arms are killing me right now after five hours of driving (I got lost in Centralia) and then an hour and a half of schleping boxes up three flights of winding, labyrinthine stairs and unpacking all of them.  My building itself is in pretty deep need of repair and nothing in it makes sense.  I’m going to have to take pictures and put them up on facebook; it’s comical how nonsensical this place is.  One of the most interesting features is the communal bathroom.  This is supposed to service the eight ladies that live on my section of the second floor.  There are two sinks, two toilet stalls and two showers (whose curtains do not, in fact, close).  One of the girls I’m living with was kind enough to donate a small container of hand soap.  There are no paper towels.  There are no trash cans.  There is, however, a Rubbish Shoot, which may be the coolest thing I have ever seen.  It is labeled as a ‘rubbish’ shoot.  I giggled and started playing with it.  The Rubbish Shoot opens up on a single trash can in a rather large, oddly lit room in the basement.  This is all that is in the room.  Due to its unattractive lighting and the unsettling condition of the room, I like to refer to it as the torture chamber.

The biggest problem with actually living in my room (because once I hauled all of the shit into it and am actually in said room it’s not so bad) is the fact that I have to spring $75 for six weeks of reliable ethernet.  I don’t think that’s gonna happen.  I might plug in my ethernet cable and see if I’m still logged into the system from last semester (it’s happened before), but if not, the lack of interweb is going to get really annoying really fast.  Currently, I’m hanging out at Common Grounds, nursing a two-dollar cup of coffee and stealing wireless from them (I was originally at Panera but I was unable to obtain one of the three power outlets in the building and my battery lied about having 40 minutes left on it).  Thankfully, Common Grounds is open ’till midnight and located a hop, skip, and jump away from where I’m living.  I have a feeling that there will be many two-dollar cups of coffee in my future.

I’ve been having a hard time adjusting to being down here.  What else is new?  I’m frustrated with myself for not getting an internship in Chicago and basing the decision to come down here off of a boy who is now out of the picture completely.  I’ve been getting calls about show crap that I have no control over ever since I got out of school and the whole programme is completely disorganized.  Now, if there’s anything I’m reliable about when it comes to shows, it’s being organized; you can tell how this lack of organization is driving me up a proverbial wall.  Thankfully, Randy told me off this morning for being a big ol’ whiner.  I have a job.  It will be a pretty easy job once I get into rehearsal.  I can put it on my resumé.  I get to hang out with Callie.  It’s away from my mother.  I need to just put on my big girl panties and deal with it.  I just wish I didn’t get so depressed whenever I find myself alone.  I’m trying to convince myself that this is a good thing: I’ll try harder to get a position elsewhere next summer and I’ll put a lot of effort into school so that I’ll get kickass references later.  But, whatever.  It’s hard, you know?  It’s hard not living with your best friends.

Life is hard.  Mrph.

And I had a really vivid nightmare last night about getting dragged into the bowels of hell by a hot, blonde chick.  And I didn’t even see that stupid movie.