i’d fallen down an elevator shaft

So I’m back in Carbondale.  I almost lost it on the train from Champaign, but I managed to recover by diving headlong into essays I’ve been putting off.  Now I’m almost completely caught up on homework, and the stuff I’m not caught up on I can completely fake.  Thank you, AP Wang.  I’m feeling a little less violently opposed to school right now.  I feel like I was so completely miserable in J’s crack den of an apartment that my dorm looks immaculate (looks immaculate; it smells like someone had a fajita orgy and not in a good way) and the prospect of being berated by Segun sound amazing because it’s something to do.  I’m going to pretend that this was his plan because it worked so splendidly.

I talked to my da a little Tuesday morning.  He said we would talk about the transferring thing.  He said that money is definitely a factor and agreed that that’s probably why Mum went so crazy on me Sunday evening.  But he reminded me that I need to consider the future a little bit and that coming back to BTown probably meant living in the basement and definitely meant being near my grandparents (a reality I have successfully avoided for half the year for the past three years).  He said that he wouldn’t be opposed to me transferring if we got to talk about it, but that he didn’t think it was a good idea to transfer to a school I hadn’t visited.  Which makes a lot of sense.  I don’t know.  I’m going to call home this weekend and try to talk to both of them about it at the same time.  I’m nervous that my mum’s going to chew me out about it.  Jesus.

I definitely need a change, though.  I’m thinking about splurging on acne medication and Crest White Strips.  Just to have some control over life.  I’m thinking about starting to run, doing sit-ups, becoming vegetarian.  I’m thinking about applying to What Not To Wear.  Something.  Anything.  I need things to be different enough that I don’t feel like killing myself just to have something to do.

NO GUYS.  I AM NOT SUICIDAL.  I’m too practical for that kind of thing.

Justin pointed out something to me this weekend: all of my relationships can be well described by a ’90’s alt rock sound.  In particular, songs by Everclear or Semisonic.  I was thinking on this right now, and I’ve compiled a rough list.  Observe:

Bozarth: In Another Life by Semisonic.

Marion: So Much for the Afterglow by Everclear.

Matt: FNT by Semisonic.

Tony: I Will Buy You A New Life by Everclear.

Randy: Falling by Semisonic or Thrift Store Chair by Everclear, depending on the day and the discussion at hand.

I feel like this says something about me personally, but I don’t know what that would be.  Probably nothing good.  Or that I definitely grew up in the ’90’s.

Go read your Brockett, Kiri.  Jeez Louise.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Stacy
    Oct 23, 2008 @ 12:26:25

    Hahaha fajita orgy.

    And there is nothing wrong with Everclear or Semisonic.

    However, I do wish one of those songs was “Sex and Candy”. I am SURE that fits into your relationships somewhere.


  2. Sneemus
    Oct 23, 2008 @ 20:04:55

    Bwahahahahahaha Everclear and Semisonic. I think that just means you’re emo. And/or have a caretaker complex. Gotta say, though, that list really made me want to listen to those albums. Less so the Everclear. I remember the first time I ever finished one of their albums and was like, “Holy shit. These guys are rednecks.”

    My love life is like Oasis.



  3. turpentinestevens
    Oct 24, 2008 @ 05:25:59

    Stacy: I’m pretty sure Sex and Candy would land in the Bozarth department. Those things seem to appear around him.

    Sneemus: Think of it this way: your love life could always be like Elliott Smith.

    Then you’d be dead.


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