i hope you last

So here is my current moral quandary.

Theoretically, I’m performing tomorrow in directing class.  The piece I’m performing is very, very early Tennessee Williams, This Property is Condemned.  Williams was in his early- to mid-twenties at the time and the piece is really quite rough in comparison to his later (and more well known) works.  The guy who is directing us is kind of an idiot when it comes to directing.  He’s a really nice guy and he’s very intelligent (which he reminds us of every single day) and that’s great, you’re fine, whatever.  But the man has no idea what a ‘beat’ is.  And beats are really great when you’re expected to perform in a Stanislavskian style.  They’re…really neat.  I highly support their existence.  Could we have some of those, please?

So I’m supposed to be memorised tomorrow.  But at the same time, Segun thinks I’m an awful actor and is, in fact, a big part of the reason why I’m not an actor anymore.  And the fact of the matter is that he’s going to be so completely appalled by the directing style (or lack thereof) that I doubt he’s going to cream my ass for not being memorised.

In addition to that, I left Mostly Harmless halfway through a chapter last night, if I do recall correctly, and rectifying that situation would be at least as neat as having an accurate beat when performing Tennessee Williams.  And this is why I’m not an actor.

I’m going to temple with one of my professors tomorrow.  I’m nervous.

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