deep in the belly of a whale

Here is a brief of what’s been going on in my life:

I spent almost the entire weekend in bed sleeping.  I had a constant, throbbing headache, incessant ear pain, stomach aches, and body aches.  I don’t know what the flip was going on, but I felt like shit.  This practise did little for my academia, of course, and now I am hopelessly behind in school work.  What else is new?

Monday morning, my ears got so bad that I went to the ER (because I knew there wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell of me getting into the Student Health Centre, even if I wanted to).  I spent a good three hours there, all to find out that they have no idea what’s wrong with me.  What else is new?  They did, however, set me up to see a specialist in Herrin (a nearby town) at the end of October (which she had to fight them for) and they gave me some pain medication.  The pain medication is FUCKING.  ME.  UP.  Oh goodness.  Headaches, dizziness, drowsiness, hiccups, mood swings, stupidity…  Basically, it makes me drunk.  Really, really drunk.  I now fully understand why it’s an awful idea to come to rehearsal intoxicated.

Speaking of rehearsal: my SM is an idiot.  Disorganised, unproductive, unpleasant, and really, really good at passing the buck.  The buck, naturally, gets passed to me.  This would be all well and good if it weren’t for the fact that I’m completely doped up and have to sit down every five minutes for fear of passing out.  I think I’m going to talk to our production manager about the issue, just so he’s aware, but I can’t decide if I should tell Schnauzer (my director) first.  I don’t want him to have to worry about this (since he’s got about a million other things to worry about right now), but I also don’t want him to feel like I’m going over his head.  I think I’ll discuss it with Lisa and see what she thinks.  It just needs to be addressed, you know?  I would totally take the reins for Schnauz, but I just can’t right now.  I’m having a hard time keeping up with my job, let alone hers.  It’s such a mess.

Grandma’s not doing very well right now.  I’m worried.

Got to see Paige S. this weekend.  That was really cool.  She was home, getting her wisdom teeth pulled.  I miss that girl.  There are very few people I can be crass and catty with without the fear of them judging me, and there’s a severe shortage of those people in Carbondale.  It was nice to not have to put up a facade when talking about people.

I’m really missing home right now.  I’ve been calling my mum a lot, which is a sure sign that I need to get out of Carbondale.  Lordy.  I’m not sure when I’ll be able to leave town.  I’m hoping I can find a way to afford Chicago in a few weeks; I need a serious vacation.  All this drama and sickness and bitching is getting to me.

Chelsea’s been a little less crazy recently, but her mood is constantly questionable.  She’s also made a complete sty of the room (which I just cleaned Saturday, before I started feeling shitty).  I think the meds are making my OCD worse, but it’s still a mess and a half in here.  Matt’s been staying over a lot, too, which doesn’t help the situation.  This room is way too  small for three people to be in it.  I also keep coming home to find the room smelling really funky, and I know it doesn’t smell that way when I leave in the morning.  I don’t know.  My tolerance for this nonsense is so low right now.

I’m so tired of feeling tired…


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. erik
    Sep 27, 2008 @ 05:23:10

    come to sunny chicago! sleep on my luxurious couch! do chicago things! fuck carbondale things! come to sunny chicago…


  2. Asbjorn
    Sep 29, 2008 @ 01:09:16

    Erik sounds like he’d love to see you in his couch! Me too. Come to Urbana and hang with us. We’ll show you a great time with major food involved. Obviously we won’t take you oyt for music later, but you could go see the jeding-lacy’s ane we would have a jollyt time for you, as you know. Anytime, Kiri-san! Anytimte.


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